Skyrim has maintained mind-boggling levels of popularity for a mind-bogglingly long time, to the point that Bethesda’s re-releasing of Skyrim has become a running joke. And of course, in standard me-fashion, I played it a long-ass time after it launched.
I’d played Morrowind (with both expansions) and Oblivion (base game only) before and honestly wasn’t expecting much from Skyrim despite the rave reviews. Morrowind didn’t become fun until mid-to-late game when (1) I could fly and (2) when my skills stopped failing 99% of the time. Do you have any idea how frustrating it feels to empty entire quivers of arrows into a nix-hound with all of them “missing” even though all of them were direct hits? Keep in mind I like games with difficult beginnings and easier endings as it makes me feel a sense of progress – but there’s a difference between difficult and stupid.
A somewhat more minor gripe I had with Morrowind was the combination of walk/run speed and the fatigue system. If you walk, in early game you moved at a sleep-inducing pace. If you ran, you used up your stamina (“fatigue” in those days), which then made your skills fail even more than they already did. Needless to say, the game’s quality dramatically improved when I obtained the Boots of Blinding Speed.
But when I played a bit of Skyrim, I realized I was having a blast. Skyrim’s skill progression is way more balanced. My Sneak leveled to 100 naturally over the course of the game because I was using it and using it successfully. Sure, I got detected a bunch early on, but it wasn’t like Morrowind where it would straight-up not work until I paid some NPC to level it up. Oh, and while we’re at it – in Morrowind, if you attack someone while in Sneak mode, they’ll immediately run right to you to retaliate even if they can’t see you due to Sneak. It makes Sneak totally useless in that game…not so here.
The fact that hits in Skyrim are…well, actually hits made a massive difference as well. Shooting an arrow into some mook’s face while sneaking from across a keep courtyard is really satisfying. Bonus points if it’s a kill shot and the kill-cam kicks in. But then minus points if the kill-cam messes up the shot, which can happen for some reason.
Does that make Skyrim flawless? Of course not. Bethesda greatly simplified Skyrim’s character development, removing all the attributes and letting the player choose only between Magicka, Health, and Stamina, which sort of limits player freedom. On the other hand, the convoluted multiplier system in Morrowind was pretty bad, so I can see where they were going.
One of the main gripes I have with Skyrim is its definition of the player character. Your dialogue options are fairly limited and sometimes make you look rock-stupid. The other night some absentminded court mage described her experiments to me and my character’s response options ranged from “you lost me” to “uhh…” Keep in mind that by then I was the Arch-Mage of the College of Winterhold with Destruction, Restoration, Alteration, Alchemy, and Enchantment above 75. In-universe my character would absolutely know what she’s talking about.
There’s this other quest where you have to get captured. You have no choice but to walk into a trap and go to jail. You see this coming – the corrupt guards literally warn you – but your character just derps right into jail.
Somewhat related – Skyrim’s quests are remarkably linear. It’s a bit strange to say that of an Elder Scrolls game, but the faction questlines don’t afford the player a lot of freedom. If you join the Companions, you absolutely have to become a werewolf. If you decline, you get no more Companion quests until you become a werewolf. Sure, you can cure yourself later, but why didn’t I have the option to refuse and get alternate quests from the guy who later tells you he doesn’t like lycanthropy? Compare this to Morrowind, where you can kill Vivec immediately and figure out an alternate way of learning how to use Wraithguard to finish the main quest. Or the Fighters Guild, where there are two sub-factions within the guild and you choose between them on the way to becoming the guild Master.
The only major choice I can think of is in vanilla Skyrim with the Dark Brotherhood. They “invite” you to join, but you can simply kill them all and the game actually acknowledges that. More of that would’ve improved the game greatly.
Oh, one more thing. Destruction spells in Skyrim suck and they suck hard. They do pathetic damage compared to a good old-fashioned sword to the face or an arrow to the groin – and they cost a resource to use. Sure, you can reduce the costs all the way to 0 via enchanting, but that doesn’t solve the low damage problem. The Master-level spells do somewhat respectable damage, except they take a fuckload of time to charge up, during which you can get interrupted by basically anything. I guess Morrowind’s elemental damage spells were pretty terrible too, so maybe this is a trend with Bethesda.
Despite these gripes, I haven’t had this much fun with an RPG in years. I had so much fun I went back and replayed Morrowind. This time I went in more prepared for the antiquated mechanics I would face, which made the game more enjoyable. And since the Elder Scrolls series goes out of its way to allow the player lots of head-canon freedom, I went to my role-playing approach’s logical extreme and imagined my Morrowind character and Skyrim character as the same person – which actually worked really well as Skyrim removed character attributes, meaning my Morrowind character could fill in some of the blanks as to my playstyle.
The character: Benamin, who has way the hell too many titles in this game to list
Traditional TES attributes are Strength, Intelligence, Willpower, Agility, Speed, Endurance, Personality, and Luck. From what I can tell, they basically correspond 1-to-1 with the D&D attributes except for Speed and Luck. Speed just controls how fast your character moves and Luck is…Luck. I’m going to go ahead and ignore these and just let them go where they go. Otherwise, Strength/Intelligence/Endurance correspond directly to D&D, Willpower is Wisdom, Agility is Dexterity, and Personality is Charisma. I know in the past I’ve thought of Willpower as a hybrid stat, but in this game everything else has a direct counterpart, so I just left it as is.
Strength: 50-74 (C-rank) to 75-99 (B-rank)
Intelligence: 75-99 (B-rank) to 100-124 (A-rank)
Willpower: 100-124 (A-rank) to 125+ (S-rank)
Agility: 50-74 (C-rank) to 75-99 (B-rank)
Speed: free
Endurance: 25-49 (D-rank) to 50-74 (C-rank)
Personality: 50-74 (C-rank) to 75-99 (B-rank)
Luck: free
If you’re wondering why my ranges exceed 100, I used a mod that uncapped the stats and overhauled the leveling system. Basically all it did was take the weird micromanaging-multiplier thing away, because that system was stupid. At any rate:
I’d played Morrowind (with both expansions) and Oblivion (base game only) before and honestly wasn’t expecting much from Skyrim despite the rave reviews. Morrowind didn’t become fun until mid-to-late game when (1) I could fly and (2) when my skills stopped failing 99% of the time. Do you have any idea how frustrating it feels to empty entire quivers of arrows into a nix-hound with all of them “missing” even though all of them were direct hits? Keep in mind I like games with difficult beginnings and easier endings as it makes me feel a sense of progress – but there’s a difference between difficult and stupid.
A somewhat more minor gripe I had with Morrowind was the combination of walk/run speed and the fatigue system. If you walk, in early game you moved at a sleep-inducing pace. If you ran, you used up your stamina (“fatigue” in those days), which then made your skills fail even more than they already did. Needless to say, the game’s quality dramatically improved when I obtained the Boots of Blinding Speed.
But when I played a bit of Skyrim, I realized I was having a blast. Skyrim’s skill progression is way more balanced. My Sneak leveled to 100 naturally over the course of the game because I was using it and using it successfully. Sure, I got detected a bunch early on, but it wasn’t like Morrowind where it would straight-up not work until I paid some NPC to level it up. Oh, and while we’re at it – in Morrowind, if you attack someone while in Sneak mode, they’ll immediately run right to you to retaliate even if they can’t see you due to Sneak. It makes Sneak totally useless in that game…not so here.
The fact that hits in Skyrim are…well, actually hits made a massive difference as well. Shooting an arrow into some mook’s face while sneaking from across a keep courtyard is really satisfying. Bonus points if it’s a kill shot and the kill-cam kicks in. But then minus points if the kill-cam messes up the shot, which can happen for some reason.
Does that make Skyrim flawless? Of course not. Bethesda greatly simplified Skyrim’s character development, removing all the attributes and letting the player choose only between Magicka, Health, and Stamina, which sort of limits player freedom. On the other hand, the convoluted multiplier system in Morrowind was pretty bad, so I can see where they were going.
One of the main gripes I have with Skyrim is its definition of the player character. Your dialogue options are fairly limited and sometimes make you look rock-stupid. The other night some absentminded court mage described her experiments to me and my character’s response options ranged from “you lost me” to “uhh…” Keep in mind that by then I was the Arch-Mage of the College of Winterhold with Destruction, Restoration, Alteration, Alchemy, and Enchantment above 75. In-universe my character would absolutely know what she’s talking about.
There’s this other quest where you have to get captured. You have no choice but to walk into a trap and go to jail. You see this coming – the corrupt guards literally warn you – but your character just derps right into jail.
Somewhat related – Skyrim’s quests are remarkably linear. It’s a bit strange to say that of an Elder Scrolls game, but the faction questlines don’t afford the player a lot of freedom. If you join the Companions, you absolutely have to become a werewolf. If you decline, you get no more Companion quests until you become a werewolf. Sure, you can cure yourself later, but why didn’t I have the option to refuse and get alternate quests from the guy who later tells you he doesn’t like lycanthropy? Compare this to Morrowind, where you can kill Vivec immediately and figure out an alternate way of learning how to use Wraithguard to finish the main quest. Or the Fighters Guild, where there are two sub-factions within the guild and you choose between them on the way to becoming the guild Master.
The only major choice I can think of is in vanilla Skyrim with the Dark Brotherhood. They “invite” you to join, but you can simply kill them all and the game actually acknowledges that. More of that would’ve improved the game greatly.
Oh, one more thing. Destruction spells in Skyrim suck and they suck hard. They do pathetic damage compared to a good old-fashioned sword to the face or an arrow to the groin – and they cost a resource to use. Sure, you can reduce the costs all the way to 0 via enchanting, but that doesn’t solve the low damage problem. The Master-level spells do somewhat respectable damage, except they take a fuckload of time to charge up, during which you can get interrupted by basically anything. I guess Morrowind’s elemental damage spells were pretty terrible too, so maybe this is a trend with Bethesda.
Despite these gripes, I haven’t had this much fun with an RPG in years. I had so much fun I went back and replayed Morrowind. This time I went in more prepared for the antiquated mechanics I would face, which made the game more enjoyable. And since the Elder Scrolls series goes out of its way to allow the player lots of head-canon freedom, I went to my role-playing approach’s logical extreme and imagined my Morrowind character and Skyrim character as the same person – which actually worked really well as Skyrim removed character attributes, meaning my Morrowind character could fill in some of the blanks as to my playstyle.
The character: Benamin, who has way the hell too many titles in this game to list
Traditional TES attributes are Strength, Intelligence, Willpower, Agility, Speed, Endurance, Personality, and Luck. From what I can tell, they basically correspond 1-to-1 with the D&D attributes except for Speed and Luck. Speed just controls how fast your character moves and Luck is…Luck. I’m going to go ahead and ignore these and just let them go where they go. Otherwise, Strength/Intelligence/Endurance correspond directly to D&D, Willpower is Wisdom, Agility is Dexterity, and Personality is Charisma. I know in the past I’ve thought of Willpower as a hybrid stat, but in this game everything else has a direct counterpart, so I just left it as is.
Strength: 50-74 (C-rank) to 75-99 (B-rank)
Intelligence: 75-99 (B-rank) to 100-124 (A-rank)
Willpower: 100-124 (A-rank) to 125+ (S-rank)
Agility: 50-74 (C-rank) to 75-99 (B-rank)
Speed: free
Endurance: 25-49 (D-rank) to 50-74 (C-rank)
Personality: 50-74 (C-rank) to 75-99 (B-rank)
Luck: free
If you’re wondering why my ranges exceed 100, I used a mod that uncapped the stats and overhauled the leveling system. Basically all it did was take the weird micromanaging-multiplier thing away, because that system was stupid. At any rate:
Besides the Boots of Blinding Speed, the Cuirass of the Savior’s Hide (which I used for its defense rating rather than for the magic resistance), the Royal Signet Ring, and the glass armor pieces, everything has a Sanctuary enchantment. The glass armor has Feather enchantments, but they can’t hold much enchantment so I don’t think it made a huge difference.
By running an assload of Sanctuary, most attacks didn’t land on me, which is why my Light Armor skill didn’t go up very high. That said, the werewolves in Hircine’s arena still hit me regularly, so I still needed to be really cautious navigating through there.
You’ll notice I wear the Royal Signet Ring, which is an incredibly awesome ring that I took off King Helseth’s corpse after murdering him and his entire retinue of guards. That’s what the fucker gets for sending assassins after me. Now I killed him pretty much the minute he appeared, meaning I did none of his quests, but one of his quests involves sending you to protect his mother from assassins. Once you get into position, the assassins appear and you learn from eavesdropping on them that they’re actually there to kill you. So even if you forgive Helseth’s initial attempts at killing you, he just tries again.
On a somewhat related note, what did Helseth think would happen? A guy appeared on his radar as a possible threat because he fulfilled an ancient prophecy by destroying a god to save the entire world. His brilliant game-of-thrones plot was to piss this guy off with assassins? What makes him think some assassins can kill the guy who killed a god? A god who defeated 3 other gods, no less.
…Anyway, that was somewhat of a rant, but the basic takeaway is that I shattered a Daedric dai-katana into the fucker’s face.
By running an assload of Sanctuary, most attacks didn’t land on me, which is why my Light Armor skill didn’t go up very high. That said, the werewolves in Hircine’s arena still hit me regularly, so I still needed to be really cautious navigating through there.
You’ll notice I wear the Royal Signet Ring, which is an incredibly awesome ring that I took off King Helseth’s corpse after murdering him and his entire retinue of guards. That’s what the fucker gets for sending assassins after me. Now I killed him pretty much the minute he appeared, meaning I did none of his quests, but one of his quests involves sending you to protect his mother from assassins. Once you get into position, the assassins appear and you learn from eavesdropping on them that they’re actually there to kill you. So even if you forgive Helseth’s initial attempts at killing you, he just tries again.
On a somewhat related note, what did Helseth think would happen? A guy appeared on his radar as a possible threat because he fulfilled an ancient prophecy by destroying a god to save the entire world. His brilliant game-of-thrones plot was to piss this guy off with assassins? What makes him think some assassins can kill the guy who killed a god? A god who defeated 3 other gods, no less.
…Anyway, that was somewhat of a rant, but the basic takeaway is that I shattered a Daedric dai-katana into the fucker’s face.
In Skyrim, my character upgraded his arsenal to wear:
Heartseeker (Dragonbone Bow): Fiery Soul Trap, Fire Damage
Atma Weapon (Akaviri Dai-katana): Paralyze, Shock Damage
The Champion’s Crown (Dragonscale Helm): Fortify Destruction, Fortify Archery
Avenger Armor, Mk. 39 (Dragonscale Armor): Fortify Destruction, Fortify Health
Genji Gloves (Dragonscale Gauntlets): Fortify Carry Weight, Fortify Two-handed
Natalya’s Soul (Dragonscale Boots): Fortify Carry Weight, Fortify Resist Shock
Fire Emblem (Gold Ruby Necklace): Fortify Destruction, Fortify Resist Fire
Ring of Unity (Gold Diamond Ring): Fortify Destruction, Fortify Resist Frost
I love how you get to name your custom equipment. As for skills, Skyrim has no distinction between major and minor skills, but I mostly relied on:
Archery, level 100 Alchemy, level 100
Two-handed, level 100 Enchanting, level 100
Destruction, level 100 Smithing, level 100
Restoration, level 86 Sneak, level 100
Light Armor, level 100 Lockpicking, level 100
My only other skills at any notable level were Speech and Alteration, both at level 100, but I didn’t put any particular effort to level those up. The former levels when you sell stuff, and I sold a LOT of stuff over the course of my ~250-hour playtime. The latter leveled each time I used Detect Life or Transmute, which I did fairly often early game.
Somewhat related: what is with enemies in Skyrim always blending in with their surroundings?
Major decisions
Like I alluded to before, Skyrim doesn’t really have a lot of major decisions. I’d say TES in general features a lot of minor decisions that all add up to form a player’s own unique story. With that in mind, I’ll write a few notes on my head-canon and how I reacted to/approached events within the games.
I didn’t include Dragonborn in this even though I did complete it, because the player character’s railroaded choices in Dragonborn make no sense. To recap, some dick’wah named Miraak has corrupted all the All-Maker stones and can command dragons. I learn one word of a shout that cleanses all the stones, so it should be a simple matter to kill him now, right? No, of course not. I get a case of cutscene stupidity where Miraak just paralyzes me somehow and rides off on a dragon. Then I’m told I need to learn the other words of Bend Will to wrest control of the dragon from him in order to fight and kill him.
Bullshit. Why can’t I just kill his dragon(s)? You know, the thing I’m known for as the Dragonborn? The thing I’ve been doing this entire game? Do you know how many dragon bones and scales I have? I could probably outfit the entire Imperial Legion with dragon armor at this point.
Sure, I have to fly on a dragon to get to him in Apocrypha, but...no, I don’t. His plan is to return to Solstheim, which means eventually he needs to leave Apocrypha, at which point I can think of like 5 different ways to kill him without having to deal with green ink water that hides tentacles. By the way, does all of Mora’s library consist of tentacle hentai or something? It sure seems like he’s got a tentacle thing going on.
Anyway, instead of simply killing Miraak, I had to sacrifice the Skaal shaman to tentacle rape to progress the storyline. What the complete hell.
Random things to note
This isn’t during Skyrim, but it’s cute, so: during Bloodmoon I befriended a bear.
Heartseeker (Dragonbone Bow): Fiery Soul Trap, Fire Damage
Atma Weapon (Akaviri Dai-katana): Paralyze, Shock Damage
The Champion’s Crown (Dragonscale Helm): Fortify Destruction, Fortify Archery
Avenger Armor, Mk. 39 (Dragonscale Armor): Fortify Destruction, Fortify Health
Genji Gloves (Dragonscale Gauntlets): Fortify Carry Weight, Fortify Two-handed
Natalya’s Soul (Dragonscale Boots): Fortify Carry Weight, Fortify Resist Shock
Fire Emblem (Gold Ruby Necklace): Fortify Destruction, Fortify Resist Fire
Ring of Unity (Gold Diamond Ring): Fortify Destruction, Fortify Resist Frost
I love how you get to name your custom equipment. As for skills, Skyrim has no distinction between major and minor skills, but I mostly relied on:
Archery, level 100 Alchemy, level 100
Two-handed, level 100 Enchanting, level 100
Destruction, level 100 Smithing, level 100
Restoration, level 86 Sneak, level 100
Light Armor, level 100 Lockpicking, level 100
My only other skills at any notable level were Speech and Alteration, both at level 100, but I didn’t put any particular effort to level those up. The former levels when you sell stuff, and I sold a LOT of stuff over the course of my ~250-hour playtime. The latter leveled each time I used Detect Life or Transmute, which I did fairly often early game.
Somewhat related: what is with enemies in Skyrim always blending in with their surroundings?
Major decisions
Like I alluded to before, Skyrim doesn’t really have a lot of major decisions. I’d say TES in general features a lot of minor decisions that all add up to form a player’s own unique story. With that in mind, I’ll write a few notes on my head-canon and how I reacted to/approached events within the games.
- I awaken in the infirmary of the Imperial City. I have little recollection of anything before waking up and drift in and out of consciousness. Sometimes I hear someone talking about “that time warp must have messed him up” and “the Emperor seems concerned”, but then again, maybe those were just fever dreams.
- Eventually, I recover. Someone tells me that I will be sent to prison. I understandably protest, but then am told I will only be there for one night. The next day, I’m supposed to get shipped off to Morrowind. A katana-wielding woman whom I don’t recognize, but who seems to know me well, tells me the Emperor has a task for me and it would be better for me to show up in Morrowind as some random guy with no import (e.g. a prisoner).
- Upon arrival in Vvardenfell, I report to Caius with a letter emphasizing that I’m of no rank or importance. Caius sends me off to investigate and fulfill the Nerevarine prophecies.
- I obtain immunity to age and all diseases. I also obtain some meaningless titles; while the titles mark me as a war leader of all Dunmer, I end up winning the war with no military aid.
- Annoyed by these random assassins who kept disturbing my sleep, I travel to the capital and shatter my katana into the king’s face upon learning the king was the one who’d sent the assassins. Only then, in the end, did the king understand...the true price for losing the game of thrones.
- My actions catch the attention of Almalexia, who slowly descends into insanity upon the steady loss of her godhood. She is so insane that her plan to regain her godhood involves murdering her fellow Tribunal gods and me, actions which would not grant her any new godhood whatsoever. She was finally released from her misery when I killed her and trapped her soul in Azura’s Star. I proceeded to leave the artifact on my desk in Rethan Manor.
- Slowly, the denizens of Mournhold realize Almalexia was gone. One of her most devout worshippers (who is named Camoran) frantically becomes obsessed with finding her. Mehrunes Dagon notices him and begins to hatch a plan. Posing as Almalexia within some dreams and visions, Dagon instructs him to steal Azura’s Star from Rethan Manor and infuse himself with it, thereby gaining some powers.
- Camoran goes to Rethan Manor while I’m out massacring Ordinators and Buoyant Armigers at Ghostgate (as I do) and encounters Crassius. He seduces Crassius and absconds with the soul gem. Using the soul gem to give himself powers, he sets out for Vivec to steal his soul as well.
- Meanwhile, as I journey around dispensing justice as the Master of the Fighters Guild, Archmage of the Mages Guild, and secretly as the Master Thief of the Thieves Guild/Bal Molagmer, the denizens of Morrowind become conflicted. They are grateful to me for defeating Dagoth Ur and making life much better for mostly everyone, but they’re still pretty resentful that an outlander was their prophesied hero. Many still wish for all outlanders to leave Morrowind. I decide to leave Morrowind to keep the peace. Specifically, I travel to Solstheim (the game itself never gives me a reason to go there, so I made sure to address that).
- I help found Raven Rock, smash Magius’s face in with his own ice mace, and shoot Hircine right in the crotch with my Daedric bow. As I travel around the island and encounter the culture of the Nords, I learn more about dragons and become curiously…curious about their mythos. After naming some successors to my titles, I decide to travel to Akavir to learn more.
- While I’m away, Camoran kills Vivec, steals his soul, gives himself more power, and transforms himself into a Chimer form (which makes him appear as an Altmer). He goes to the mainland to begin the Mythic Dawn, now completely under Dagon’s thrall, and sets off the Oblivion Crisis.
- The Empire pulls all of its Imperial troops out of Morrowind to combat the Daedra, finally fulfilling the Nerevarine prophecy – by killing Almalexia and driving Camoran mad, I indirectly caused the Empire to evacuate Morrowind completely.
- ...which isn’t actually as great as the Dunmer foresaw, since now they were alone to combat the Daedra. After repeated ROFL-stompings, even the Telvanni began to wish that some outlanders were around to help them.
- The Telvanni get ROFL-stomped some more.
- The Crisis ends and the Empire lies in shambles. Far-right elves rise to power in the southwest. Vivec’s absence leads to that tiny asteroid falling ~15 meters into the city, which somehow causes a volcano way the hell north of Vivec to erupt and fuck the island over. Some would argue this fulfilled the Nerevarine prophecy, since the Dunmer themselves are outlanders to Morrowind – they originated as Aldmer/Chimer, from Summerset – and the eruption either killed them or forced them to flee.
- I know none of this, as I spend a relatively peaceful time in Akavir studying their ancient writings about dragons. My agelessness allows me to study these things and live in peace for 2 centuries before I decide to go home. But upon returning to Tamriel, I find a very different land from the one I left behind.
- Confused, I try to go to Cyrodiil but get captured at the border between Cyrodiil and Skyrim. I learn about the civil war while I try to figure out how to avoid being executed, but then a dragon attacks and inadvertently saves me.
- I make my way to Whiterun and befriend the Jarl by defending the Hold against a dragon. Using my knowledge, built over 2 centuries of study, I absorb the dragon’s soul. The people hail me as a Dragonborn, prophesized to save the world from being eaten.
- I fulfill the prophecy by destroying Alduin and killing, like, way too many dragons along the way. Also killed along the way: lots of racist Stormcloaks.
- I encounter some orphan who wants to summon the Dark Brotherhood to kill a lady who literally abuses orphans for a living. I’m not in the Dark Brotherhood, but how could I not kill this lady? In response, the Dark Brotherhood spends a very large sum of money to hire a courier to send me a letter that consists of nothing except a handprint and the words “we know.”
- I decide to teach the Dark Brotherhood how better to use their funds, since I found that a flagrant waste of resources. My method of instruction was killing them all, as they can’t waste money if they’re dead, amirite?
- I begin uniting the guilds as I did in ages past, as I knew unity in the face of those goddamned Thalmor was going to be really important. To this end I decide to pay the newly reassembled Dawnguard a visit.
- After saving the hot Serana from being frozen in carbonite or something, her dad offered me great power. To demonstrate, he turned into his FINAL FORM, which looked so hilariously stupid I burst out laughing in real life before I selected the “no” response.
- I gain newfound respect for the hot Serana as she destroys her way through Falmer and her old family. She decides to turn back into a human and becomes a champion of the Dawnguard.
- I continue building my power base, believing that one day, I would play a role in destroying those goddamned Thalmor.
I didn’t include Dragonborn in this even though I did complete it, because the player character’s railroaded choices in Dragonborn make no sense. To recap, some dick’wah named Miraak has corrupted all the All-Maker stones and can command dragons. I learn one word of a shout that cleanses all the stones, so it should be a simple matter to kill him now, right? No, of course not. I get a case of cutscene stupidity where Miraak just paralyzes me somehow and rides off on a dragon. Then I’m told I need to learn the other words of Bend Will to wrest control of the dragon from him in order to fight and kill him.
Bullshit. Why can’t I just kill his dragon(s)? You know, the thing I’m known for as the Dragonborn? The thing I’ve been doing this entire game? Do you know how many dragon bones and scales I have? I could probably outfit the entire Imperial Legion with dragon armor at this point.
Sure, I have to fly on a dragon to get to him in Apocrypha, but...no, I don’t. His plan is to return to Solstheim, which means eventually he needs to leave Apocrypha, at which point I can think of like 5 different ways to kill him without having to deal with green ink water that hides tentacles. By the way, does all of Mora’s library consist of tentacle hentai or something? It sure seems like he’s got a tentacle thing going on.
Anyway, instead of simply killing Miraak, I had to sacrifice the Skaal shaman to tentacle rape to progress the storyline. What the complete hell.
Random things to note
This isn’t during Skyrim, but it’s cute, so: during Bloodmoon I befriended a bear.
I really looked forward to Dragonborn so I could see how Solstheim looked after the events of Bloodmoon. It’s too bad that the main questline is stupid (above) and the expansion as a whole is kind of depressing. The island and its inhabitants get absolutely axed between Bloodmoon and Dragonborn. The jovial mead hall Thirsk got hit pretty badly, turning into either a Riekling den or a den of bitter Nords who hate you for defending yourself against their leader…who straight-up tries to murder you.
Ah how times change. I made this thing – a screenshot of me in front of Bloodmoon Thirsk and Dragonborn Thirsk – before I went through that quest, so in hindsight this image doesn’t really have the impact I was going for. But I made it, and it turned out okay, so I’m going to show it anyway:
Ah how times change. I made this thing – a screenshot of me in front of Bloodmoon Thirsk and Dragonborn Thirsk – before I went through that quest, so in hindsight this image doesn’t really have the impact I was going for. But I made it, and it turned out okay, so I’m going to show it anyway: